That moment when my heart filled with the mixing of warmth and other wonderful feelings and the stomach twisted but it's a good kind of twist and suddenly the goosebumps are all over your body, and I feel like there's a drop of tear that's trying to fall down from one of my eyes.
Yes. That moment when I just feel simply happy, but it is also complicated at the same time because I feel different kinds of feelings all at once. Nothing can compare that. The mixed of feelings that lasts. This isn't like when I'm with my family or my friends.It's not the feeling that's caused by wearing a new colour of nail polish or new dresses and shoes. Or even the feeling after getting my hair done or buying good new books or even listening to a great song. Maybe there's a few things that are similar, but this is the most exciting ever.
When you just know, you have that faith in him that he'll always be faithful to you. Despite my immaturity, my naivety -- or I can call it stupidity -- and all my minuses. That moment when I know I do and can trust him. And I know he loves me, that he's whole-heartedly in love with me. That moment when I know it all. Despite all the fights, the insecurities I've been experiencing, the bad treatments I get and I also give, I still feel happy. People say, "love is to set free". It's true for them. Probably also is to me. But we, humans, have our own mind, and maybe for him, "love is to protect and to take a good care of". At first I disagree with that. People need freedom to experience the out world. To learn about life. I was free and I experienced things but I wasn't mature enough so I didn't really learn from them. And maybe now, God give me him, and set things up like this. I'm not that free, so maybe I have to mature and get used to being like this. And I guess, the more I want to fight for my freedom, the more God shows me the meaning of his kind of love, and the more I find out, that there is more than to set free. I probably don't understand this thing very well but I think I have a slight imagination about it. I start to see everything a little more clearly, the meaning behind every "NO" he says. Although I do not always understand, and I try my hardest to understand but I still can't, and in the end we have to fight. I believe that it's a good intent, but somehow the question mark is always above my head. Maybe I'm too stubborn, too blind to see something good behind everything bad other people given me. The good intention they're trying to show. I don't know. Hhh.
But, well, everything isn't always a hundred percent right. It depends on how people look at it. It has several sides for us to see. And with my kind of happy, I'm willing to see the other side of what I already have in order to appreciate it even more. Appreciate the man who has given me something I've never imagined before. And I'm glad I'm grateful I'm thankful I'm still filled with joy of having him here. I feel loved. That's what matters the most for me now. He's my second home. He's where half of my heart is. I just hope that he'll be the one I get to spend my life with. Until I grow grey hair and have wrinkles on every part of my skin and get weak, old and die and our graves are next to each other.
Awwww this is fuckin sweet, I hate my thoughts when it comes to this. Shit. Not that kind of hate, but just disgusted that no matter how disgusted I am to romantic stuffs, I'm still a girl who has that kind of sensitivity. I still have PMS for God's sake. Haha. Well, that's that.
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