Those times when you just feel helpless to say no although you're amazingly tired and sleepy and you just want to go to bed. Those are the things that trigger the rage, fury and they unpleasantly break down the mood of being nice. The reasons you're taking are senseless and stupid, probably it is caused by your tired body and brain so you can't think straight, but no matter what the reason is, you can not accept that. Clearly it's not your responsibility, but the fact that you have to bear it because you know you're the only person yourself and other people on your house can count on, really pisses you off. And in the other hand there's no one else to get help from. Only you. And you are not in a good condition.
It burns inside. Like hell. It doesn't hurt, it just brings out the anger. Sometimes you just can't stand it you have to cry to let everything out. The resentment is awful. It's like the devil inside you just came off. You fight it even if you don't want to. Sometimes you're just tired of it. But when it comes again, you'll fight it again and again, making sure that you'll never lose, so you won't lose yourself.
I'm a vengeful person actually. Well maybe not always, sometimes I can be very forgiving. But I can't deny that I love watching people who once did bad things to me or pissed me off get what they deserve. And I don't do revenge, I can tell you that, but when I have the chance I will. Or I'll pray to God to let me watch when He avenges me. Although, for so many times, in the end when I'm watching them get avenged, I'm the one trying to stop it. It's just painful to see people get hurt. I thank God for that kindness in me. But I guess I act that way because I don't hate those people that much I want them die. I only have a few people that I wouldn't care watching them suffer to death. I reaally don't care for hatred's sake. I don't.
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