Well, Fuck!

What the heck is wrong with me? I never hate video games. I love them. But nowadays my love turns into hatred.

I hate how my boyfriend's attention got confiscated by it. Maybe that's the main reason. I don't hate the game. I hate the distraction it makes. I hate the diversion it makes that it diverts his attention from me, to the game. To the whole thing of this fuckin video game stuff. No matter how cool the game is. And it's fuckin online. He's interacting with other people too. That adds the distraction. The diversion. Fuck.
And he has a good time with them. Why can't it be me? Why can't I have a good time like he has? He's with his thing. Why can't I be with mine?

He spent a lot of money for games. Why can't I spend money for what I like? Why? Why can't I have my good time? Why does it have to be him? Always. Can't I interact with other people like he interacts with his friends??? Why am I the only one that has to be patient? Why me? There's no difference being home and with him. I'm the one that's always losing. I want to do my own thing. Like he does his. I want to have what I want. I always get what I need, and I'm grateful for that, but can't I have what I want? Can't I order people to do things? I'm the one that's always being ordered. They tell me to do things I don't fuckin wanna do!

Fuck!!! I hate my life! I hate how universe works these days! I hate people! I hate how lame myself is! I hate everything! I know I'm acting like a 5 year old right now. I know. I don't fuckin care. Fuck logic. Fuck facts! Fuck my needs! Fuck my wants. I hate you all!!!!!!!